I love him

So happy I get to curl up to those two every night! We had a great day together. We played in the yard with SoCo, built a fire, ate muffulettas, and Matt walked upstairs to sneak surprise my mom.

It was just a really good day.
It’s been a really good couple of weeks.

I started helping at a yoga studio and I’m loving back in classes! It’s been a really positive experience for me and something that I love and is just for me. It’s really refreshing.

Matt starts at Champions Training Center on Tuesday! He’s going to be getting personal training to work on his balance and strength. Plus, he gets to spend time with positive, driven men that will meet his need for “man stuff” and encourage him in his recovery. It also gives him the opportunity to make new friends and support them in their ventures. Matt has a lot to offer as a friend, he’s really looking forward to being a supporter rather than always being the supported.

Life has been really great lately.
I haven’t been this happy is a long time. I feel at ease and giddy. Just calm, without stress or anxiety. It’s been fantastic. I imagine this is what healing feels like. You know the sayings, “things have to get bad before they can get better” and “once you hit rock bottom you can only go up?” I guess that’s true because I feel good. I feel different.

I decided a couple of weeks ago that I wouldn’t think of my love for Matt as missing something. I wanted to just let our love be whatever God wants it to be, no expectations or disappointments, just love whatever kind he wants for us. So I made the conscious effort that every time I looked at Matt I would say to myself, “I love him” before I thought anything else. I love him.

If it’s like a wife to a husband, I love him.
If it’s like a mother to a child, I love him.
If it’s a painful heartache, I love him.
I won’t think about his brain injury or his wheelchair or not being able to go certain places or not finishing college or being financially unstable. I won’t let my mind go there. Those thoughts are not from God. Love is from God.

“I love him.” That thought is from God.

It has become natural those last few days to just love Matt. First and foremost, I love him and it has changed the way I live. It has changed my mind and speech. It has changed my heart and thoughts, and it has changed Matt. He is laughing more and talking louder and smiling longer. He is acting like himself more than ever.

He is changed by me loving him better, by me loving him God’s way.